Sunday, February 15, 2009

Tag Your Friends!

Here are the rules:

Once you've been tagged, you must participate. No, don't think. Just do it. All your friends (and "friends" too) saw that you were tagged. They are gchatting each other right now and wondering what kind of asshole would kill the good time by not participating. That's right, They say: your kind. (And by "They" I do mean everybody—group chat is a bitch, no?) One of Them just uninvited you to their bi-monthly circle jerk. Deal.

They are speculating whether or not that story about your "cold sore" will make the top 25. They're taking bets on which lie you plan to stick with. Any moment now, one of Them will Tweet at you to say how meaningless and gray the interminable slog of living is without your 25 facts. Remember, always: Your friends are here to listen.

You just de-tagged that photo from the Reno trip, didn't you? Not quick enough, chief. Your old lady already switched to "Single." Did she forget to tell you in-person again? Laugh-Out-Loud, son. Laugh-Out-Loud.

Oh God, Oh God, whats-her-name changed her status. Message her before she changes it back and ask "What's Up?" While you're at it, ask to borrow some of her used toilet paper. Nothing's too private, right?

No, seriously. Write your facts, fucker. We are the Borg.

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