Ah, Oscar Night: The night when the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences brings us together to appreciate quality films. Who could forget such classics as Goodfellas, Dr. Strangelove or Citizen Kane? The Academy. That’s who. None of them won. This year, I celebrated the 81 year old tradition of snubbing quality cinema at the Oscar party hosted by the Vassar Film League.
I didn’t know what to expect from Hugh Jackman, but I really liked his opening number. His bit on musicals was a little weird. It seemed out of place, but Beyonce was in it, so it was definitely appropriate for the Oscars. Strangely, she did not perform any of the nominated songs this year. That was clearly a gross oversight, and I can only hope that the right people have been fired for it.
Mickey Rourke seemed oddly sober, which can only mean that those wonderful folks from Film Independent weren’t around to fill him with Jameson and Stella. Clearly, they know how to put on an award show.
This year, I didn’t know any of the nominees. Not having anyone to console or congratulate, I sent a text message to my friend Wally when he won best animated feature.
During commercial breaks, Film League asked trivia questions. I don’t know anything about Oscar trivia, so I didn’t do so well. I don’t know who has which records for how many nominations of what sort. What I do know is that two acting nominees from a couple years ago had previously acted together in a pornographic film. Unfortunately, nobody ever asks questions about important things like that.
I entered a contest, guessing the winners. A few results took me by surprise: Heath Ledger and Jerry Lewis, to name some of the bigger upsets. As it turned out, guessing 19 correctly was enough to win. I hadn’t prepared a speech, so I just used the one from the end of Rocky IV. I won a gift card to Regal Cinemas, so now I can watch even more movies, as if I haven’t seen too many already.