"Fire Safety" - An Oxymoron?

I was caught remaining in my dorm during a fire alarm, and my punishment was to write an essay on fire safety. Here it is.

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
-Robert Frost

It is important to know and obey fire safety rules. These rules are put in place for our protection. Those who fail to observe them endanger their lives and the lives of others. Much like the Terminator, "[fire] is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!"

Unfortunately, fighting fire is not always the best modus operandi. Depending on what fuels the fire, water can exacerbate the situation. Sometimes, even fire extinguishers fail to put out a flame. Sometimes extinguishing a fire can cause even worse problems. Bromochlorodifluoromethane is one of the most effective fire retardants known to man, but also causes untold damage to the ozone layer. So, in some cases we will be faced with the dilemma of saving a building or saving the planet. When Billy Joel claims "We didn't start the fire. No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it," perhaps, instead of eschewing blame for starting said fire, he should elaborate on the measures he used to fight it. I certainly hope that he didn't try to fight it with bromochlorodifluoromethane. Forest fires can be a necessary event in nature. If forests are not allowed to burn occasionally, brush will accumulate, and entire forests can be lost to uncontrollable conflagrations. Following the advice of Smokey the bear, mankind almost brought about the extinction of Sequoias, a tree that can only reproduce in the presence of fire. Thus, sometimes, the best course of action is evacuating a fire, rather than extinguishing it.

Yet, we cannot let the fire win. As General Patton said, "No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country." So too is the case with fire. We cannot let the enviornmental dangers of fire fighting discourage us. We must not sacrifice ourselves to the flame, even if it might benefit the planet. We must continue to fight the good fight. Instead of extinguishing fires with synthetic chemicals, which can have consequences even more devastating than the fires themselves, we must prevent them. As the adage goes "A gram of prevention is worth an eighth of cure." We must fight the fires before they start. We can do this by not using extension chords and not smoking indoors. We must not stop until fire ceases to exist.

Fire is dangerous, and should never have been introduced to earth. It was not the will of the gods, and Prometheus deserved what came to him for bringing this evil upon us. In conclusion, there is no such thing as fire safety. The only safe fire is one that's already out.